If she could just see me now, she´d be sure to love me, I´ll bet. I´ll bet she would. How could she not? Look at me now. How I am. If she could see me like this –waiting for her, hours early, way before she´s due; watching for any sing or sound of her. She´d see how eager I was. She´d see this desperation in my chest. If she could just see me now, from a distance, without me knowing she´s watching, she´d see me as I really am. How could she not have some feeling toward me then? Some – but maybe not. Maybe that´s – I mean, maybe there´s some repulsion in something like that. I don´t know how that work exactly but – maybe there´s a – revulsion of some kind when someone is too eager –too needful, too needy. I don´t know. Some –convulsion. No. No, that´s not. –That´s not it. That´s no ever a word is it? Time back in Knoxville when we were kissing on the train; than long long kiss we had –saying good bye-- suddenly took off from the station but I wasn´t supposed to be going with her; I mean, that ´s why we where saying good bye, thinking we weren´t going to see each other again for a long, long time and we were looking in this long –just kissing and kissing and suddenly the train was moving and there was no way I could get off. Trees and houses were flaying by. So they dumped me at the next station, which was miles down the track, and there I was, waiting for hours for the next train back –I mean, how could she not have some –I don´t Know what cause that to happen –that connection –anymore. If there ever was one.