Classifieds ad - new marriage-

I want to spend the rest of my life learning British English, I wanto to learn the language so well that I'd be able to read ¨Finnegans Wake¨ and ¨Ulises¨ and then, as the time goes by -¨Sam, play it again¨-, I'd like to be able to write my own litlle story in decent English, sitting on an oak bench in Hampstead Hill
I want to go and do it, but I need a sponsor.